She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
