and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
