Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize