did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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