Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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