I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize