can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
