so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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