Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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