So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
