I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
