Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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