Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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