You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
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they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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