Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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