I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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