she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wish my penis had a tongue
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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