In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
