so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well you can't waste a boner
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
