I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
