I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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