Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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