pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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