Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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