so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
