she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
