let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
