Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
