this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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