this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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