Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sex in a hospital.. check
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
