yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
