i think i have two assholes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
