he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
