Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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