Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
