is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
