I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
