just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
