Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
