Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
