I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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