You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
