so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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