franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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