Non-Jews are for practice
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
