if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I love having hate sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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