that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
