ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
bring money and cleavage
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
