The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
