Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
