i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
