I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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