Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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