2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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