Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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