Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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