Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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