If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My vagina just recognized that song.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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