We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
