I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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