the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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