I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
