chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Bring me that man meat
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
