So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
