i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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