This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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